Since we have met Sir, so many of my preconceived notions of D/s have changed.

Before you, all I had were my previous experiences with D/s, where I was the Dominant, or what I witnessed as “real” D/s relationships that my Leather Mother had with her slaves. Before you, D/s was much more of a “give” on the submissives side of things, and a “take” on the Dominants side. Even when I was the Dominant, it never set well with me that I was expected to just demand things of my submissive. Was I controlling? Yes. Was I demanding? Yes. Ungrateful or selfish? No. I could not bring myself to be that way.

I watched my Leather Mother be an absolute cunt to her slaves. Demanding the utmost obedience and submission with little care, love or consideration in return. They would give her everything they had. Love, adoration, time, energy, money. She just drained them of all of it. I always questioned it from the beginning, but it was hard for me really understand that mode of thinking. It has never been in my genetic make up to take from others. It simply is not something I can do.

After her came my ex. So many stories that you have heard, and so many that you have not. From January 2012 to November of 2017, nearly 6 years of a living nightmare. He fancied himself a Dominant. Demanding much the same of me, that my Leather Mother did of her slaves, he gave so little in return. Controlling, cruel and abusive, he chose everything from my clothing to how I cut and colored my hair, to how MY money was spent. Should I dare to speak against him would result in a week long fight about how disrespectful I was, embarrassing and ungrateful. Never mind the fact that I did not want to be submissive to him, or even a partner. He literally drove me into insanity, taking and taking and taking all that he could.

After him was Harry. That idiot could not comprehend a healthy relationship if he tried. Demanding much the same as my ex, sans the finances, he attempted to consume every part of me that he could, except I knew better and refused to allow him to do so. He also had no concept of D/s. To him a submissive was a toy to use until it broke.

I had always romanticized D/s as a healthy, trusting relationship, full of kinky sex and little displays of dominance. That is, until the people I mentioned changed my perspective of it. It became this cruel thing. Unhealthy, draining and no longer fun. It was something I wanted nothing to do with, not as a Dominant, and certainly not as a submissive.

When I met you, our D/s was cemented, etched in the face of a mountain by a million tons of dynamite. The foundation of our relationship did not come because either of us were seeking it. It came because of how we met. In the night, silent and swift. You came to me, laying claim to my body in a violent, fevered passion. My mind, and my heart followed so quickly after.

It as if you, standing there, were waiting patiently for me to kneel.

I came you, afraid and anxious. Not knowing that I was submitting, yet doing so naturally.

Our D/s has grown slowly, I can’t even say our relationship has as well, because they are one in the same. For us, much to my pleasant surprise, the D/s has integrated seamlessly into our relationship and every day lives. You have changed my concept of a D/s relationship back to the previous romanticized ideal I once had long ago.

I feel love.

That alone is so different than many of the D/s relationships I have seen or experienced. Theirs were loveless. Ours is full of love.

I feel safe.

I can come to you for anything. My darkest secrets and biggest fears are safe with you. I no longer constantly look over my shoulder. I open myself to you and give you all of me. My hopes, my dreams, my fears, my desires. And you judge me for none of them. You do nothing but lift me up. You encourage, support, push and motivate me. You make me want to be a better me. And I feel safe enough to do that.

I feel small and helpless.

When you wrap your arms around me, or take me by the hair, or become forceful with me. I feel small and helpless You tower over me and envelop me. You are so much stronger than I am, so much, and I know the damage that easily could be done if you decide to inflict it. Yet you wield that strength with astonishing gentleness. Those large, roughly hewn hands of yours, touch me with such tenderness that it takes my breath away sets my heart to racing. You care for me as if I would shatter if you squeezed to hard.

I feel strong and in charge.

This was surprising to me. As the s to your D, I never thought I would feel empowered. You lift me up and empower me, I feel stronger and more confidant because of you. I am in charge of not only myself, but my destiny as well.

Our communication is superb. It is one of the best things in our relationship. We have so few communication mishaps, and when we do, we immediately stop and correct it. Instead of letting each other (mainly me) not communicate, it is expected that things will be discussed. You have been amazingly patient with me as I have relearned how to communicate with someone. You have seen the anxiety that has riddled my face and weighed on me when I have had to discuss something with you. You make it so painless and easy to communicate. I no longer fear having to tell you something because I know that you are not going to overreact or scream at me. I trust you to continue to be the patient loving and kind man you are.

How we manage day to day things, between both of us, with work, my school, your kids, the dogs and both of our homes, things move pretty smoothly. Sometimes I feel as though I might annoy you with the amount of times I ask you things, but in the end it helps keep both of us on track and on schedule. Part of our D/s, which, again, came naturally to me as the rest did, was helping you with day to day things. It is not even an expectation, rather, it is my pleasure to serve you like that. Be it through making sure you have clean laundry for work, a lunch to take with you, helping with your daughter so you can relax (I love that part), or what ever else you may need. It really is my pleasure to do those things for you. That aspect of our D/s was extremely different for me when I realized it. These are all things that had once been demanded of me, and I once had fought tooth and nail against doing them. Now I happily do them, with out being asked or expected too and I truly enjoy being of service in that manner to you. It pleases you, and in turn, it pleases me.

It is so easy for me to find all of the things in our relationship that are better than expected. I am so very satisfied with our relationship and our D/s that it is difficult to find the things that I think need improvement.

If I had to choose some things that I think need improvement, at this point in our relationship, it would probably be structure and accountability.

So very rarely do I break a rule, and you are very good about calling me out on that, however in the rare instances like we had the other night when we went out, I told you no to something. We have already discussed this, so it doesn’t need a re-evaluation, but it was your response to it that upset me a bit. “Well how am I supposed to be Daddy if your just going to tell me no like that.” This is not the first time you have said that. While I can see your logic and reasoning in that line of thinking, to hear you say that is not only confusing for me, but upsetting. I do not try to be disrespectful. I also don’t try to be disobedient. But, as a submissive Sir, you are Sir. You are Daddy. I, of my own free will, gave you my freedom of choice, I willingly gave you my right to say no. Had you so demanded that I do what I had said no to, I would have done it. Now, you hardly ever put your foot down like that and make me do something. However, please don’t forget you have that right. It is never a question of “how can you be Daddy?” The question Sir, is why am I saying no and what will my repercussion for doing so be? If I break a rule, it simply isn’t because I want to. I may be careless, or rushing, or forgetful. But it is never intentional. And my breaking the rules does not diminish your Dominance in any manner, if anything, that is when I require it the most.

With that being said, structure is the next thing that I feel needs some improvement. I am still floundering a bit with my routine and I need some help Sir. I like the routine we have when you come home from work and I greet you and take off your boots. I enjoy the routine of you pulling my panties out and setting them on the dresser for me while I get ready for work. I like the small routines we have like those. I need some more things of that nature Sir. I need a little more structure to my day, a little more of you woven into things. I also require help getting myself on track with the gym and meal prepping again, making sure certain things get done as well around the house. I need that routine and structure in my life, I thrive so much more when I have it. Small rituals and larger structure. These are the things I need more of from you Sir.

I also know we tried a little bit of the structure a while ago and both of us let it fall by the wayside. But we can’t do that Sir. I can’t do that. I need you to enforce it, and hold me accountable for it as well. As unpleasant as that is, I need that from you Sir.

Lastly, you asked me what I feel is unique and special to us, compared to other D/s relationships I have seen. Well, honestly Sir, all of it. My D/s with you is so drastically different than the D/s I have seen with others. There is no “healthy fear” of my Dominant. No asking permission for everything, no domineering and demanding. Just love, respect and mutual giving. That is what makes us so unique. We both give equally into the relationship and most others I have seen, the submissive ends up giving more typically.