Prompt: What makes a man?

Every one will tell you something different in response to this question.

Some will say work ethic. Some will say strength or ruggedness, height, facial hair, attitude, or physique.

For me, the answer is not so simple.

I have always been attracted to a certain type of guy.

Or in my opinion, the ideal man.

A man is many things, it’s not the size of his hands, the physical strength in his arms or how many “manly” things he does, no, a man is much more than that.

Having to sit down and define, give words to an essence is not the simplest of tasks.

Being a man is more than just a look or physique.

It is an attitude, a way of being, actions, your essence.

You don’t wake up in the morning and go “how can I be manly today?”

Just as I don’t wake up and think about different ways to be a lady or more feminine.

It is not a choice you make, but your choices define it.

Really, it’s not even your sexual preferences or identity.

However, since this is my opinion of what makes a man, I will limit my answers to the straight male considering that I am your typical, mostly straight female and am speaking in terms of the heterosexual relationship and partners.

When I look at you I see a man.

Not just any man though.

When I look at you, I see the embodiment of everything I consider “manly.”

You don’t even realize how good damn sexy you are because of that.

You were standing in your kitchen the other day, back towards me, I don’t even remember what you were doing but you had jeans and a green tee on.

In that moment I don’t think I could have been anymore attracted to you.

The thought that crossed my mind at that very moment was exactly this. “Now that, that is a man.”

You exude masculinity.

It is in the way you carry yourself.

The way you walk, talk, the things you say, the way you sit, hell even the way you smell is masculine.

What are the things that make a man?

Integrity.

A man has integrity. They do things because it is the right thing to do. Not because it is the easiest.

Even when we discuss some of the more difficult choices you have made and continue to make, you make them because they are the right ones. Not the easy ones.

You consistently make the right choice.

You are honest with me in everything. Because of this, I have an unwavering trust in you.

I don’t question your motives, your choices, whether or not you will follow through with the things you say you will do.

What you say is what you do and you are fair.

This is so huge. You don’t jump to a conclusion. You have never punished me out of anger, I realize that you have never really punished me at all, but I have never even seen you angry. You don’t take your bad days out on me.

You consider all things when you make a decision. Even me. Especially me. You consider the effect of your choices on me and my feelings, our relationship. Even when the choice is not the easiest and you know that it’s something that will probably disappoint me, you still make the right decision.

That is why I don’t question those choices. I have no reason to. I know that you have already considered all sides and made the best decision. I follow because you consistently show me that you deserve to lead.

This is a man.

Kindness

Even to strangers they are polite and kind. They lead by example and treat others with the respect they would like in return.

You are patient, even when most would loose their patience, you have been unendingly patient with me.

You speak softly, but you command respect. I have yet to hear you raise your voice in anger or frustration.

I never want to see that day. The thought is terrifying that something could push you to the point of anger, raised voices, yelling. I never want to know what that could be.

Your kindness is palpable. I feel it in the way you hold me, kiss me. You are always so very sweet to me.

You are polite to others, even the strangers at the store or the waitress at dinner. You are kind.

This is a man.

Humility

A man is not prideful or boastful. They have pride in what they do, but they do not wave it in others faces

If you could see yourself the way I do, your head still wouldn’t inflate.

To you, the things you do, say, feel are simply what is. Nothing special, nothing extra. They are what they are because it’s right.

Your kindness, sweetness, all of the awesome things that you do for me and for others are just things that you do.

You consistently give more to others than yourself.

You love your children and you are the example of what a dad should be, especially in the way you treat their mother.

You are humble about it too, you don’t demand that they do for you because you give to them. No. You do it because it is what is right and you do not boast about all of the things you do for them even though you deserve more credit for what you do than you get.

Even for me. You see nothing exceptional in the way you treat me. I however know the truth.

The way you treat me is exceptional.

You are exceptional.

But to you, you are just doing what should be done.

This is a man.

They Admit Their Flaws

This could probably go under humility but I think it deserves it’s own category considering how utterly rare this is nowadays.

A man is accountable for their actions.

You make mistakes. You’re human. But you own up to that, you flat out say that you screwed up and, you offer a solution to the mess up.

You don’t just say my bad.

You don’t blame something else.

You don’t justify your actions.

You accept responsibility and APOLOGIZE.

And your apology means something because it is real.

And then you follow through with the solution.

You are aware of the things you fear, you are comfortable with acknowledging them, even to others, but they don’t hold you back.

A man never makes fun of others weakness or flaws but they have a healthy sense of humor towards themselves.

A man admits his weaknesses, safeguards them but will still admit them.

You have your weakness too. The things that make you all soft and goey, make kissy faces and act silly.

Your kids, your pets and your woman. All of these draw out a different part of those soft squishy insides you hide so well.

This is a man.

They Love Fiercely

A man never withholds affection and never makes a woman question his love or loyalty to her.

You continue to show me on a daily basis how much I mean to you and how much you love me.

I have never and will never question that because I know you love me.

It is in your actions.

The time you make for me.

The attention to detail when you listen, you truly listen. You remember minute details in our conversations and can recall them later.

How you hold me.

How you kiss me.

You show me how you love me.

You make my happiness a priority and you make my pleasure a priority.

In bed it is not all about you. Even though sometimes the idea is to simply please or satisfy you sexually, you ensure that I am enjoying myself. There is no exception to that rule.

This is a man.

Strength

A man is strong. Emotionally and physically.

You can toss me around and overpower me. We figured that out really quick, and I am not a weak little girl. But, for just a strong as you are, as small and vulnerable I feel with you, you are as equally gentle with me, you lift me up and encourage me.

A man is as gentle as they are strong.

You don’t fret others opinion of you. You hold yourself to a high standard, not other people’s standards for you.

You lift others up. You praise and encourage them.

You protect those around you.

I have never felt safer than I do when I am with you.

You are just rough enough around the edges to show some of that barbarian, that hunter, that warrior within you.

Yet you are strong enough to know when to let that out and when to keep it in.

You are strong enough to make it through some of the hardest, most painful experiences, and not let it destroy you.

A man faces these things and comes out stronger than before. Once the bitter pain fades and the scar heals, they shine. They don’t allow that experience to dictate who and what they are, and they don’t let it stop them from trying again or being successful.

This is a man.

Manners

A man is polite. They have manners. They know when to be a gentleman and when to be a barbarian.

You know when to hold the door for me and complement me. Or when to go get the car and let me wait inside for it. You know when to dress me up and take me out.

You also know when it is time for that dress to come off, and how hard to pull my hair to get it off faster.

You know when it’s a naked stay in bed day or laid back jeans or PJ’s sort of day. And you know how to dress for the occasion. Never underdressed, even on a pj sort of day you still are clean and tidy.

You are not afraid to show me affection in public, just as you are not afraid to show possessiveness. A kiss on the forehead or a grab of the ass.

You know when to whisper sweet nothings in my ear as you make love to me.

You also can spew some filth out of that same mouth that blows my mind….and soaks my panties.

You know when it is time to hold my hand or handcuff me.

This is a man.

I could go on and on and on about the things that make a man, but I think that beyond these categories, everything else will subsequently fall into one of them in one way or another.

To me a man is not defined by the clothes he wears, time at the gym, handyman capabilities, or the things he says.

A man is defined by the way he carries himself, interacts with others, the choices he makes and the things he does.