My collar is…..

I stared at your answer to my request for a moment. I really did.

I asked you for another writing prompts because I have been struggling with organizing my thoughts well enough to get them onto paper…er, the computer actually.

Well Sir, you fulfilled my request.

This is not an easy question for me to answer. It’s not, and yet, I know immediately the answer to the question.

However, before I answer your question Sir….

Allow me to back track for a moment, and educate you just a bit as to what collars are.

In the BDSM community and lifestyle there are a number of different types of collars. Obviously I am not talking about physical collar styles, leather, latex, metal, necklace ect. I am speaking theoretical collars. To make it easy, I am going to liken the collars to stages on vanilla relationships, which is rather common.

The play collar: This one is rather self-explanatory. Worn only during play, it holds no significant meaning to either the top or the bottom. It can be sexually gratifying or put the wearer in the correct head space for the scene. This can be considered your one night stand or fling.

The consideration collar: Often this collar is presented to the submissive by the Dominant when the dominant is considering collaring the submissive. In vanilla terms this would be called “going steady” or “dating” or “boyfriend/girlfriend.”

The training collar: Given when the Dominant is considering permanent ownership of the submissive, or is intending on permanently collaring her. This could be considered the engagement phase of a vanilla relationship.

The ownership collar: The final and most serious of all of the collars, this is the wedding band of the vanilla world. The submissive who wears this has, for all intents and purposes devoted herself to her Dominant for life. The Dominant has sworn to protect, guide and love that submissive for the rest of his or her life. This collar is not just a leather collar, often it is a necklace, ring, anklets, locking metal ring, tattoo or branding. It does not come off. Till death do us part.

Mind you this is a very brief synopsis of each type. Each person has their own interpretation of collars and each collar has a very different meaning depending on the couple and every collar looks different. (So, other kinky people, don’t shoot the messenger because I left out details. This is the cliff notes version.)

The common theme with collars is that the Dominant presents it to the submissive. And the submissive wears it until the Dominant removes it.

The meaning of the collar is determined by the Dominant and discussed with the submissive when it is given to him or her.

And lastly, the physical collar belongs to the Dominant. It is his or her collar, given to the submissive to wear, to show ownership as a manifestation of the bond and meaning that the couple has discussed. The collar is returned to the Dominant, at his request, at the end of the submissives service, be it the play collar at the end of the night, or the ownership collar at the end of the relationship should the couple determine they should no longer continue a relationship.

So now Sir, I can answer your question.

My leather collar is a physical manifestation of my service to you, a trigger for my head space. It is freedom in its restraint, peace in its chaos, a center for me. I can smell it when I wear it and it comforts me. I feel safe, protected, secure, owned and loved. And when you wrap your hand around it, I know I am yours. When I hear the buckle rattle as it closes, I feel myself release all of me tension, my stress. When that buckle closes, you have conquered me.

I do not wear it because it is a comfortable and fashionable thing to do. I wear it to show you my devotion to you. My love for you. That I have Chosen to give myself to you.

When I wear your collar Sir, I open myself to you, I bare my neck to you and I trust you.

And that Sir, is only a small part of what my collar means to me.

I am curious to know now…..

What does my collar mean to you?