It has been a little over 48 hours since I have seen you last, and almost 72 since we had my piercing done.

I was flying so high from that piercing.

It hurt so, so bad. And then the pain, just gone. Like it never existed and suddenly I was overwhelmed with EVERY movement. I hit subspace just from that single moment of pain and it was doubled by the instant and intense pleasure that followed.

You asked me if I was ok when I stood up. Yes, yes Sir I was. I was floating, feeling fuzzy from the pain and pleasure, from the endorphins it released.

I was also flying high from you.

The combination of the pain, and knowing that part of the reason I was getting pierced was to please you, because it is yours, because you wanted it, this combination sent me into subspace.

The pain and the control.

To you it may just be a simple piece of jewelry. But like we discussed, it is more than just a metal bar. It is a very real, tangible, touchable reminder that I belong to you.

I am reminded of that every time I move.

Then when we got home, and I am aching and so very sensitive from that little piece of metal, that is when you sealed that head space. Permanently engrained that connection in my brain. When you touched it, when you touched me, when you took me. When you told me again that it was yours, that I am yours, when you made me tell you. With a fist in my hair and you throbbing inside of me, you leaned down and etched that bond in my brain, in my heart, and in my bones.

“Now everyone who see’s it is going to know that it belongs to me.”

I was flying so high until I finally collapsed in exhaustion. You left me asleep in my bed, kissing me goodbye, I remember in my sleepy haze, you having the most beautiful smile. Happy, satisfied, proud. You smiled as you kissed me goodbye.

When I woke up I was coming down. The endorphins were gone and I was tired. I curled up on my couch and wrote, enjoyed my coffee, putzed around the house a bit.

By the evening I wasn’t feeling so fantastic. I was still tired and now I was missing you.

My drop comes in stages. Starting about 12 hours after you leave and peaking around 36.

Last night was the worse.

The only thing I could liken it to is withdrawal.

My anxiety was out of control, even though I went out with my best friend, I had to talk myself out of a panic attack. Thank god she is a great distraction.

I am moody, tired, sad, anxious, I get mild headaches and crave all the sweets. And I miss you. I miss you like there is an aching hole where my heart is.

It sucks.

Drop just fucking blows.

But every moment of it is worth the high I get with you.

Nothing compares to how you make me feel. Loved, protected, satisfied, owned. And I will deal with every minute of the suck that is drop for that.

Now we are past the worse part and I am feeling better. Still somewhat irritable, but certainly much better than last night.

I deal with drop a little differently each time. Sometimes I need to just sleep, the gym helps but it is such a struggle to force myself to go when I am dropping. I think I need some help with that actually Sir. I’ll eat some sweets and keep myself busy, I write, I masturbate excessively because orgasms fix everything.

But sometimes I really, really need a hug from you, or a moment curled up in your arms.

I could have really used that last night but I found other manners of coping since that wasn’t possible.

This time the drop was really bad. I didn’t tell you how bad it was because I hate making you worry about me. But it was bad. I have also realized that the drop is not always proportional to the high either, however, this time it was. I went down as far as I went up.

I have never really experienced sub drop with any play partners I have had in the past, it was really just rough sex. I never really hit subspace either. They didn’t give me that endorphin high. But you do. I get a little bit of that rush just being around you.

You touch me deeper than anyone has ever before. You touch my soul.

There is a number of writings by well know Dominants and submissives in the community on this subject. Drop is a very real phenomenon and it is experienced by non-kinky people too after a particularly intense experience. There is a common belief however, that submissives in long-term relationships or those with serious emotional connections to their Dominants experience more intense and pronounced drop. It is also experienced by Dominants too. I remember experiencing Top Drop when I was a Domme. The effects were different, and not nearly as intense however.

I think that because you have such a profound affect on me and because I give myself so much to you, I trust you so deeply that I allow myself to be this vulnerable for you, that I believe is why you send me flying so high. And why I drop so hard and so fast afterwards.

It is shiny and pretty and oh so sensitive.

Now everyone that sees it will know that I am yours. I never needed a piece of metal to tell me that. I knew that long ago. The metal is another reminder, another level of control for you. Another symbol that I am yours.

But more and more I realize that I have always been yours. Before you were even a flicker of light in my world, I have been yours.

I never truly felt right. Many have said the things that you have said to me, but never have I felt that they truly did. Never have I wanted to give that to them. So I kept searching.

I didn’t even know I was looking for you.

But now I am yours.

“Everyone will know that it is mine.”

Yes Sir.

It has always been yours.

Just like I have always been yours.