Playing rough with others

What is the difference between playing rough with others and being dominated by others?

We have been discussing this for several months now and admittedly it is a challenging dynamic to our open relationship.

I think the best place to start is by defining what makes you my Dominant and particularly, what physical acts are considered Dominating me.

Obviously you are my Dominant because I choose to submit to you. That alone is the biggest factor in most of this, particularly for me because if I didn’t choose to submit, there is not a single thing you could do that would make me submit, to own me.

Beyond the decision to submit there are a few other differences.

  1. No one else is Sir. Or Daddy now.
  2. I do not derive pleasure from serving others. Making them orgasm yes. Serve them no.
  3. When we fuck there is this intimate sense of belonging, you wrap your arms around me and I am right where I am supposed to be. When you wrap your hand through my hair and growl in my ear that it’s yours I know it is, and when I say it, I mean it.
  4. You make me feel small, powerless and vulnerable. I do not with my lovers, if anything I feel the opposite. I feel empowered. Even when they have their hands wrapped around my throat, I am still in control. With you, I lose all control with one look from you.
  5. You own me. Body, mind heart and soul. I am yours. When I am fucking someone else I am thinking about you.
  6. You are the only one that gets to say that you own this lil pussy, or me for that fact.

You are the only one who gets to Dominate me.

Lets examine the actual definition of Dominate according to Merriman-Webster

According to Merriman-Webster the word dominate means

  1. Rule, Control
  2. To exert the supreme determining or guiding influence on
  3. To overlook from a superior elevation or command because of superior height or position
  4. a: to be predominant in b: to have a commanding or preeminent place or position in

as an intransitive verb:

  1. to have or exert mastery, control, or preeminence
  2. to occupy a more elevated or superior position
Now, lets break this down further.
1. You control me. Both in the bedroom and out. I have given that to you, no one else controls me.
2. You have the final say. Your influence, your decisions are the final, determining factor.
3. I don’t think this is applicable unless you count the fact that you like to be on top…..
4. You hold a predominant position in my life, meaning, you are my primary, you are the one that holds importance to me.
As an intransitive verb:
1. Please see 1-4 above.
2. Rinse and repeat.
So when it boils down to the nitty-gritty Sir, you are the only one that dominates me. It doesn’t matter what another man does to me.
You wrap your hand around my throat and growl in my ear that you own this little pussy and you own me. My immediate reaction is to melt, to turn into the squishy soft, vulnerable sub goo. Yes Sir, is my response, happy and contented response.
Someone else wraps their hand around my throat and growls in my ear that they own this little pussy and me…. My immediate reaction is “Who the fuck do you think you are?!”
So, they can choke me all they want and I am going to enjoy every moment of it. But the minute they decide that I belong to them, that is the moment it is done.
That line is very clearly drawn in the sand for every single one of them from the first moment we start talking. They know who I have chosen to belong to.
That is why most of them don’t last for very long. They either catch a case of the feels, or they decide to try to take something that isn’t theirs and I just don’t put up with that bullshit.
ultimately the difference between playing rough with someone else and being dominated by someone else is MY mindset. I can only be dominated by the person I allow to dominate me.
And that Sir, will only be you.

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