Prompt: Letting Sir know what I want without telling Him.

Otherwise known as: Sir isn’t a fucking mind-reader.

Where do I even start?

I hate telling you what I want.

And even more what you should do.

And Amazon is out of crystal balls. I checked. Twice.

You are still learning and growing as a Dominant just as I am still learning and growing as a submissive.

While I realize that I am generally perfectly content to go with what you want, there are times when I do want something specific from you.

I also think, that when you ask, I do tell you what I want or need with just a little bit of awkward shyness, because lets face it, I have never been good at focusing on me. Frankly I am pretty damn neglectful of me in reality.

But in the end, I still need to tell you what I need. If I don’t, then I will not get what I need out of our relationship and ultimately, I run the risk of not being happy.

A person can only go unfulfilled for so long.

And try as I may to ignore my needs and my desires, I can’t forever. Nor do I think you want me too. It’s really just not healthy.

So then I suppose the question boils down to HOW do I tell you what I want/need? I don’t feel like it is my place to come right out and say “Sir I need you to do xyz.” There are some things, mostly more vanilla things that I can and have come right out and told you I need. My hang up is mostly in the D/s arena.

This blog is one of those ways that I get to express what I need. particularly now that you are becoming actively involved in the writing prompts to understand me a little better, it makes expressing some of thoses submissive needs a little easier. It is not as threatening to tell you what I want here, like it is kneeling in front of you. I know you will not judge me or punish me for the things I write in here because this is my safe space. My ability to express myself.

Not that you are threatening by any means. I am aware that you desire to know what I want and need. You have said as much yourself. You are just as much a pleaser as I am and my pleasure, my happiness is just as important to you as yours is to me.

It’s just that when I am in that place, that submissive mindset. When I am being that obedient, willing, pleasing, good girl for you, asking you for something almost never crosses my mind. In fact, my needs never cross my mind.

I suppose you could also make me tell you. Sit me down in front of you and direct me to tell you. As long as you are patient while I try to form my words, this is another approach that might be effective. However, your questions may need to be more pointed. I don’t think that “What do you need?” Would be sufficient. You would have to do a check in. “How are you feeling? How am I doing with xyx? Do you want things more or less intense?” So on and so-forth, and use my answers to guide your questioning.

I think maybe an ocassional check in like that would be good for me. And for you.

I worry at times that I am in far more of a submissive mindset than you are a dominant one, and I think that a lot of that has to do with where you are in your growth as a Dominant and by no means a bad thing.

So I don’t think telling you HOW to give me what I need will help fulfill those needs, but telling you what those needs are and letting you run with them is probably the method that will work best for us.

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I suppose that now would be as good as a time as ever to tell you a few of the things I need from you/needs in general, as your submissive.

I find that I need you to be a little more intense with me, note this does not mean I want a greater percentage of our relationship pie to be D/s compared to vanilla, but the 2/3rds that is D/s maybe needs a bit more chocolate… or espresso powder to give it a zing, (bakers trick.)

So when I say more intense Sir, because I know you are probably thinking what the fuck I just asked her this the other day and she said it was fine!  I am not referring to the frequency in which we scene (with bondage and toys and what not) I am referring to the little displays and little reminders that you are in charge. Those really are the key for me.

For example. You grabbed me by the hair the other day before you left and whispered in my ear that I am going to think about you the whole time I am out with my friend, because that is yours…. (Again, paraphrasing.) That left me a mushy pile of submissive goo. And sopping wet. I mean sopping wet. Or how you stopped and ordered me to come to you at the door and say goodbye again. (I melted.)

Now, with that being said. Little displays like that can occur anywhere you want them too. It doesn’t just have to be before you leave. Grab my ass in public. Catch me looking at another guy and say something to me about it. Get creative. You have quite a filthy mouth Sir and  I absolutely love it.

You have free rein Sir, to literally do as you please.

You want it, take it. 

Bend me over where I stand and yank my pants down.

Put me on my knees.

But it is more than just you having the freedom to use me sexually. (Although I LOVE when you do that.) It is you having the freedom to control, to choose, to decide for me. 

In the mood for something specific? You can tell me, “We are doing xyz tonight.” That makes me happy. You can also tell me that you would like me to wear. I do my best to be appealing to you, but I don’t always know what mood you are in. Want me in a little skirt? Tell me. Lingerie under jeans and a tee? Please tell me.

I really enjoy when you decide where we are going for dinner. That is one of those little Dominant things that lets me feel that exchange of power. And it’s even better because I hate deciding where to go for dinner.

Those are all examples of ways that you can increase that intensity without me telling you specifically what to do.

The thing about being your submissive, your girl, is that I have chosen you to be the one I give that control too.

As your submissive I crave your approval. I seek your pleasure, I desire your happiness. I want all of these things. Knowing that I have these, that I have your approval, that you are pleased and happy, these are the things that bring me immense satisfaction and fulfillment in our relationship.  I need you to be in control.

I did not anticipate the magnitude in which I would desire to give that control to you. It is overwhelming to me at times, as I am sure it is for you, but every day is a little bit less overwhelming and a little bit more natural.

Another thing I need, and this is not just as a submissive, but as a woman, your lover, your partner, your primary.

I need to hear that you are proud of me and pleased with me, and that I am your good girl. Now, this is important. You already do this.

Don’t stop. 

So, so, so very important that you keep doing this. It is also important that you continue to take an interest in the things  that make me uniquely me. My passion for my career, my hobbies, my interests, my opinions, my perspectives, me as a person.

If I think that you don’t care about something, I won’t share it with you.

Your continued interest in, encouragement of and general cultivation of my individuality is what makes this work.

We both know what happens when people lose their individuality in relationships. The more you continue to foster that, the safer and more secure I feel with you and the more control I give to you.

I need your comforting touch just as much as I need your cruelness. Sometimes I just need to curl up with you and be at ease. Other times I need to kneel and place my head in your lap, and just be present. Sometimes I need you to hurt me, bring me to the brink of tears and desperation, begging you to stop. Sometimes I need you to be sweet to me, to make love to me, to bring me to tears because I am overwhelmed with love for you, because my heart is ready to burst from my chest.

And sometimes, I need all of those things.

But out of all of those things Sir, every single thing I just talked about. The thing that I need the most, and I won’t make you consult your crystal ball for is very simple.

If nothing else.

I need all of you.