Considerate Control, or, in other words; How Not To Be A Domineering Dick, Sir.

You are so concerned about being considerate of me. I truly think it is the sweetest thing and honestly, it makes me feel good, and feel like you truly care. I love that you are so patient, considerate and sweet to me.

But really Sir. Please, please, please just tell me what you want. Just like with the mace. If you want me to carry it, just say that. Or like today. If you want to see me, just say that Sir.

You should never feel like you cannot directly say what you want.

Yes, I recognize the fact that I will more often than not inconvenience myself or ignore my own needs or wants in lieu of pleasing you. But a lot of that is because I derive such immense satisfaction from making you happy.

But please don’t fret, I am still capable of telling you no. I may do it so very little but I can still do it. The other factor is that you do make sure I don’t ignore my own needs and wants. Your not going to tell me to do something that you know is going to be harmful, damaging or draining to me.

Simply because you think about how your decision affects me let’s me know that you have consideration for me and honestly, that is all I really ever want. To be considered and respected as an individual with her own wants and needs is again, something new and different.

I am not a mind reader Sir. You always will get much better results from me by clearly stating what you want. But this is not just because I am not a mind reader, but because I am an over thinker and never in a good way. This also goes for what you think about a subject. Please don’t hesitate to speak your mind, I want to know your thoughts and opinions, I prefer you to be the one to tell me, instead of leaving the interpretation up to me.

For example, you told me not to hesitate to come over yesterday when plans had to change. So, in my brain this translates to: maybe he wants some space and doesn’t want to snuggle with me. Did I make him mad? He doesn’t seem mad. But he told me I am welcome to come over… but I don’t want to intrude, he’s probably just saying that to avoid hurting my feelings because we made plans today and he decided he really wanted to stay home, but if thats the case, why wouldn’t he just say that?

So on and so forth. You told me that you wanted me to come over that morning once I was finally there but you didn’t want to tell me too in case I didn’t want to leave the house or had other things planned. (I am paraphrasing here but you get the idea.)

This is a prime example of why I am so happy to please you. Because you are so considerate of me, because I hold value to you and you make sure I know that. And because you think about my wants and needs when you think of your own.

You will never be the dickhead dominant that doesn’t give a shit what I want.

The conversation could have gone like this.

I would like you to come over when you wake up.

I’m sorry, I can’t today Sir. I have XYZ going on and really need to be home.

Now, this is where we see the difference between Considerate Control and Domineering Dickhead.

CC: Ok I understand we will figure something else out.

DD: I said come over. I don’t care what else you have going on.

Or worse….

DD: You aren’t a very good submissive. I said I wanted you to come over, you obviously don’t listen and apparently, you don’t care about me or pleasing me. 

Sir. You are never going to say the second thing to me and you definently won’t say the third. You are never going to tell me that you don’t care about my needs or that I am a bad submissive.

The other major difference between considerate control and being a dominerring dickhead is this:

You only take what I willingly offer and inspire me to give you more.

A domineering dickhead takes what he wants, manipulates, forces and terrorizes.

You have earned my respect. And my submission. You can’t be a dick when you are being respectful and mindful of my individuality.