Poking The Bear, or, in this case, my Wolf.

My prompt for this post came from Sir: When, and how to provoke Sir, without overstepping.

Well now, that is a loaded question.

I am currently reading Conquer Me By Kacie Cunningham. A great read so far that has prompted quite a bit of self-reflection. In her book she talks about a submissive females’ need to be conquered.

In two words she clearly summarized the whole of what drives me to do something crazy, like tickle you, slap your ass, make a smart ass comment, even puff up ever so slightly to challenge your dominance, and see what happens.

I want you to conquer me. I need you to take me. To show me, in no uncertain terms that you are in control and that I am yours to control. I need to be reminded of the nature of our relationship, for you to display that dominance. I need you Sir, to show me that you are still strong enough to handle me.

And while I know that not only can you handle me but you can also make me.  Really Sir, I just need a reminder of that. Sometimes more often than others.

I just need to be put in my place.

Sometimes this means I need you to snatch me up by the hair and destroy what ever clothing I have on just to take me because you can.

Sometimes this means I need you to bring me gently to my knees and remind me that my place is at your feet.

Sometimes I may need to be bent over your knee and left quietly crying as the heat from your hand, or paddle burns in my ass.

And sometimes Sir, this means that I need you to draw me into you, to tell me and show me how much you love me and how pleased you are that I am yours.

But when? When should I, and should I not, poke the Wolf? When is it appropriate to sass you? When can I give you that quirky little grin that means “come and get me?”

You always tell me. As long as I pay attention to you and your mood, I will know. You will never flat-out say, “yeah now is a good time to provoke me.” But I can tell when your feeling playful and I can tickle you just enough to get pinned down, or you just need that little nudge and suddenly your thinking about “slapping that pretty face.” And you get that “girl your going to get it” look on your face.

When you are quiet and calm I may just find my way to your feet or curled up in your lap and that is all the provocation you need for that.

Some things, some pokes are best left for private, others, like a subtle bit of sass or a quirky grin can be done at the right time in public.

You are so laid back and nothing ruffles your feathers. I think that is the primary reason I like to provoke you.

I want to know what is under those feathers.

I want to ruffle those feathers, so that when you are done showing me that you are still in control you can sit there and proudly preen yourself.

Generally speaking I am not going to overstep my boundaries. It just is not going to happen. The first reason being that I can pretty much tell when you have about had enough and I need to stop. I typically stop before we even get to that point because I don’t want to overstep. The other reason is because you stop me. You don’t let me over step that boundary. I have only done it the one time that I can truly recall, poked at you to the point that you said enough and I got a pretty good swat on the ass for it.

That swat, knowing that I had pushed it too far, annoying you enough that you felt it necessary to reprimand me, knowing that I had disappointed you, and myself with my behavior. That was enough to about send me to tears.

I do not ever want to upset you. Ever. You know this. The thought that I even MAY have upset you is often enough to elicit a pretty nasty catastrophic reaction.

But we talked about that today. That wonderful catastrophic reaction is left over from my prior relationship were I would be screamed at and berated to the point of tears for days because the deodorant wasn’t in the right place. Simple small things that should never elicit that type of reaction from anyone. So now, I panic when I think you might get upset. I don’t want to upset you. But you reassure me every time that you are not upset which is helpful and very much appreciated.

I think the biggest key for me is to ask myself, before I poke my Wolf. Will this please him? Is this the appropriate time and place? Am I showing him respect?

Am I showing him respect? 

If the answer is no, then I refrain until a more appropriate time.