Let me tell you….

I feel like a kid in a candy store.

OMG So. Much. To. Do!!!!! Iiieeeeee!

Spinning like a top, I don’t know what direction to go first.

What do I want to try first?

It is totally different being on the bottom than the top. I used to get excited about really nasty toys and was just down right sadistic to my play things. I got off, really got off, on making men bleed. I absolutely loved it.

Now, the tables have turned and I am seeing things from the bottom end of the spectrum.

Holy fuck that looks nasty!!! Hmm I wonder how it feels??? Maybe…no, no, no! You will bleed. That won’t be fun. Pain isn’t fun. I think pain isn’t supposed to be fun…..well fuck. It really looks fun.

I want to do ALL the things.

I want to be tied up, gagged, blindfolded and abused. Tits, ass, pussy, back, hell even some face slapping please.

I want pain, fear, to loose control, to loose myself.

I want all of these things. But I am afraid to tell you this.

I am so very excited about all of the potential but so very afraid of telling you that for fear of pushing you away because we don’t share the same kinks.

I don’t want you to do something that you don’t enjoy. But I also want you to try these things and see if you do enjoy them. I want to try them too. But I already know I will enjoy them.

We were out the other day and you asked if I liked a particular item. I really tried to hide how excited I was. You probably saw right through me though. I did like it. It is so pretty and it matches all of my other toys. But I ignored your question in the store on purpose. I absolutely like it, but I would love it if you used it on me more. That is why I ignored your question.

I don’t know how much of the really kinky BDSM stuff you are interested in. I know how much I am interested in. I just can’t decide where to start.

I also know that you are really new to this and most of it is probably overwhelming. It was for me when I started to.

I know you will eventually read this and I hope you don’t think less of me for it. I don’t want you to worry about hurting me either, because frankly that is exactly what I want. And I know that you will never harm me.

Please, Sir, let me tell you, without seeming like a do-me submissive, of all of the candy in that store….

I want you to use me.

Grip me up and fuck me relentlessly.

I want you to scare me.

Choke me until tears well up in my eyes. Take my breath from me until the fear overtakes me and panic sets in.

I want you to torment me. Tease me. Mock me. Humiliate me.

Take that body wand and bring me to the edge and stop. Hold me there, until I am begging you for release. Then deny me. Allow it when you want it, and when you allow it, fucking take it.

Tell me exactly the ways in which you own me.

Tell me how you are going to use me. Then do it.

I want you to leave your mark on my flesh.

Bruise me with your hands, your hips, your implements, until tears stream down my face.

Please Sir, don’t just destroy my pussy. Destroy me and any semblance of control I may still be holding so desperately to.

And when you are done. After you are satisfied, and I reek of your sex, your anger, your lust and I am dripping your sweat and seed. Take me once more.

Take me and tell me what I am. That I am yours, and no others will ever have me like you have me. Tell me what I do for you, that I pleasure you and please you, that you are proud of me, that I am a good girl for you. Remind me that I bring you Joy and happiness.

And show me how you love me.

I trust you to keep me safe from harm. But you have to trust me that I will tell you where my limit is.

I will tell you.

I will be patient for you.

I will be your good girl always.

I only ask, Sir, that you please don’t judge me for the things I desire.